Dutch men

by Tanja

Everybody who has ever lived in the Netherlands or has dated a Dutch guy seems to have an opinion about Dutch men: Dutch guys don’t flirt, they let their agendas rule their (love)lives and are so enthusiastic about feminism, a girl is likely to pay her own bill when on a date! So what do Dutch guys look for in a woman?

What’s up with Dutch guys?

Let’s look at the facts and see what the research says about Dutch guys.


1. What do Dutch guys look for in a woman?

The Dutch newspaper Volkskrant did a big investigation in 2014 to find out what Dutch men look for in a woman. The men were all highly educated and maybe that is the reason why 28% said intelligence is most important. Also in the top 3: sweetness and cheerfulness.

2. It’ s all in the eyes, say Dutch men

When it comes to looks, most Dutchmen said they find the eyes of a woman important. Second are breasts and bottom. Attractiveness is important but Dutch men don’t care much for heavy makeup. Tip for girls in love with a Dutch guy: Dutch men like a more natural style.

3. Dutch guys like women in high heels

Natural maybe, but high heels are still considered attractive. According to research done by Harris Interactive, shoes are important to Dutch men. 63% said they also take good care of their own shoes.

4. Who do Dutch men find attractive?

To get an idea of the ideal woman for Dutch men, here is a photo of Dutch celebrity Chantal Janzen.

The tv-presenter, actrice and musical star was chosen most sexy Dutch girl a few times by Dutch men.

5. Dutch men wear old underwear

Nice shoes might be important to Dutch guys, the quality of their underwear certainly is not. Don’t be surprised if the Dutch guy you are dating is wearing worn-out underwear!

The Dutch shop Zeeman found out that 1 in 3 of the Dutch men continue to wear the underwear even when it is worn out. At least, that is what their partners say. 37% of Dutch women say their men walk around in old underwear.

Dutch guy and girl on a bicycle
Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

6. The Dutch have sex before marriage

Sex before marriage is not a problem for Dutch men and Dutch women. Most Dutch people also think there is nothing strange about gay people. The use of birth control is high in The Netherlands. Most girls use the pill. This research comes from Rutgers, the Dutch centre of expertise on sexual and reproductive health and rights.

7. Are Dutch guys vain?

In research done by Discovery Channel in 2010, it seemed Dutch guys use a lot of beauty products. But are Dutch guys vain? Compared to men in other countries, Dutch men actually take very little time looking in the mirror. Though 84% thinks it’s important to look good, the average Dutch guy spends only 3 minutes looking in the mirror every day.

8. Dutch man wants you to think he is honest and not rich

Dutch guys find it important that women think they are honest (36%) and loyal (35%), according to the Volkskrant research. Only 1% of Dutch men says he finds it important that women think he is wealthy! A Dutch men does not care for bragging!

9. Are Dutch men attractive?

Dutch men are not considered the most attractive in the world. A survey among holiday makers showed you’d be more likely to meet good looking men in Italy. The Italians were especially popular among British, Spanish and Portuguese women. Dutch men are most popular among people from Norway.

10. Dutch men are tallest

But if you like tall, sporty men, go for the Dutch. Officially, Dutch men are the tallest people in the world. On average Dutch men are taller than 183 cm. Find a map below coloring the tallest (blue) and shortest (red) people in the world.

Adult height for the 1896 and 1996 birth cohorts for men.

11. Dutch men don’t marry

Don’t expect your Dutch man to propose marriage any time soon. Especially young people prefer to live together. The Dutch are on average 37 years old before they get married. But nowadays many Dutch people never get married. In 1997 60% of 35-year old men were married. In 2017 only 36% were married. Many Dutch choose a different kind of marriage: civil partnership.

12. Dutch guys don’t flirt

In a study of on-line flirting by social network site Badoo.com, Athens in Greece was named the world’s flirtatious city. Badoo ranked cities by the number of on-line chats or flirtations that were initiated per month by the average Badoo user in a particular city.

Unfortunately, Dutch men don’t flirt. Chat users from Amsterdam initiated an average of 18.4 conversations per month. It’s still better than Buenos Aires (16,3), Rio de Janeiro (12.4) and Germany (17.7). In Athens, Moscow and Kuwait City Badoo users initiate over 25 chats each.

13. What Dutch men are like in bed

Dutch guys might not be easy to get into the sack, or so they say. But once they are there, it’s worth it, if you believe a survey by Men’s Health. According to findings from the magazine, Dutch men take the longest time for foreplay to climax. They have an average time of 22 minutes. Only Mexicans take longer.

14. If size matters…

Dutch men have large p*nises. The average p*nis size in Holland is 15.87 cm. Number 1? Men from Congo. Theirs measure a whooping 17.93 cm. On target map there is hugely interesting map available.

15. Satisfaction in numbers

On the website of condom maker Durex you can see worldwide levels of frequency of sex and the levels of satisfaction. 68% of Dutch respondents said they were having sex on a weekly basis. 50% said they were satisfied. Compared to other countries, people with Dutch partners are well off. People in Greece and Mexico seemed rather happy with their sex lives as well.

Do you think Dutch guys don’t flirt? Let me know in the comments.

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Leave a Comment


67 comments

Adriana April 27, 2014 - 19:07

Daphne was spot on! And I am from the Netherlands so I should know. There is a lack of passion and personally I prefer non Dutch men at least they know how to court a lady.

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Daphne June 16, 2013 - 23:00

Well I worked in Holland for 6 months and my impression for Dutch men at first was that were very polite and helpful to me with my suitcases on the trains etc.
I found them to be very handsome tall and very good looking…most of them.
I got to meet one very handsome very sexy but not performing as well as the southern European men.They are very much weird in their sexual preferences and to my experience very perverted. The truth is that are very straight forward not romance not much sensitivity about women feelings.
I met another one lately on internet very handsome !!! but his addiction is sex over skype.He is asking women to dress with sexy underwear’s,panty hose and he masturbates.Actually I was amazed to see how he was acting and behave in front of the camera acting like a gorilla.The minute he was ready to explode the camera was going off without an excuse.
I think Dutch men are sexually aroused from porno and other things that are not so normal to other nationalities.Are boring men handsome with big penises but not much to offer to women emotionally or other wise.
This is my opinion.

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Alex July 25, 2014 - 04:55

Wooooah man I skyped some dutch man as well! Did his username start with a T? If so I’m not surprised he’s skyping other ladies.

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Rachel June 18, 2015 - 02:50

I know this is an extremely old comment, but I’ve skyped with a Dutch man too, with the username beginning with T. Slightly worried that it’s the same guy you’re on about now! Haha.

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Amy August 9, 2015 - 14:48

Omg, I just knew a dutch man from internet and we skyped too, and his username starts with T too. May I know how to get in touch with you so you can show me his username? please!

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Deanna May 27, 2016 - 10:53

tell me he doesn’t live in British Columbia? I am seeing a Dutch guy He is older though like 44?

Amy August 9, 2015 - 14:50

His username consists of how many words? the first letter of each word is it T_T_O?

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Laura June 15, 2013 - 03:18

I am american and just recently met a dutch man online. He lives in the states now and has a 5 yr old girl. We have instant messaged and done some video chatting. He says he misses me and cant wait to spend the rest of his life with me. Of course he asked how I felt about a daughter. I love children so that didnt matter to me. He stated his wife passed away a few years ago. I find it a bit strange that he says stuff like “husband and wife are looking at each other on video chat”. He really wants to marry me and has already told his daughter about me. he said she is very excited. She was 1 when her mom passed. He is 200% different from all I read about on dutch men. I told him he doesnt seem real and that he is really kind with a good heart. Now I am a very cautious women who is very guarded so I dont know what to think about the dutch and their feelings.

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Daphne June 16, 2013 - 23:19

Stay away from Dutch men

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Juicy December 7, 2014 - 02:06

Hi Girls, I agree with the Dutch men being mostly handsome I met one that I still remember after years on .. and of course about the mostly cold and butchy women. My sister is married to one she seems happy he is nice so I think is a personal vibe ..think positive and you will attract the right one of course have an analytical mind to judge and discard promtly what ain’t good to move on 🙂 but truth be told Dutch man are mostly faithful decent and hardworking and the sex and attention issues are little things compared to what is good from them so you take the initiative and show them the right way 🙂 for good lovers yes the Dutch men are.

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Karina May 13, 2013 - 09:04

I have travelled many times to the Netherlands over the years, and every time I am still amazed at how sexy, tall, genuine, kind and confident the Dutch men I see and meet are. And yes, they are generally well-endowed. And they dress so much better than American men, but not over-the-top douchey like many eastern and southern European men.

I hear similar complaints, though (generally from North Americans and some southern Europeans) about the “lack of flirting”, the “not treating me like a lady”, etc. These men are from one of the most female-friendly countries in the world, so they don’t have this chauvinistic mentality towards women — that you will find in SO MANY cultures! It is refreshing! There is generally no game-playing, no “dating” bs, and no unrealistic expectations. If they like you, you will know it. If they just want a one-night stand, you will know it, or if they want to get to know you better over time, they will say it. They keep it real. And what’s wrong with a woman approaching a man if she’s interested? Dutch men, unlike some other cultures, will not assume you are slutty or aggressive if you approach them. They will be pleased, especially if you are from another country.

If you want to be treated like some little ex-pat princess, “charmed” by bullsh*t and lies (just to get you in bed), then go to southern Europe or Latin America, where bullsh*t, aggressive flirtation, and sexist behaviour is the norm. And if you expect men to pay for you, then chances are you are not a lady, but a little self-entitled girl wanting to be pampered and controlled.

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Tanja January 7, 2020 - 01:40

I am reading this comment in 2020 and I just had to say that I LOVE your reply. You are 100% SPOT ON with your observations. Yes, if you want douchey, slimy guys who will say anything to get you into the sack or tell you what they think you want to hear, then yes southern European, North African or Middle Eastern men are for you! Dutch guys have wit, a sense of humor and a directness & honesty that is refreshing. They don’t play the kind of mind games the other aforementioned dudes play. Are there Dutch arseholes? Of course there are! But by and large, they are not as douchey as the guys from those other cultures, who are basically taught from birth that women are objects, play-things or mother Theresa. That whole whore/madonna complex really gets played out in those cultures, much to the detriment of women everywhere and it’s super sexist. Not that they understand this or would even give it a moment’s thought. So, be glad that Dutch guys aren’t interested in playing these ‘flirtatious’ head games. It will save you a lot of headaches (and heartaches) down the road!

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Niki March 25, 2013 - 22:51

My experience with Dutch men has been very good thus far. They are open and decent communicators. Sure they have their issues with settling down, but which man doesn’t. In fact, the ones who do (like the partners of my non-native Dutch friends) are loving husbands, who are still cool and sexy, and give their partners the freedom they want/ need. And Dutch guys are very much about pleasing a woman in bed. I have lived in different parts of the world, and now live in Amsterdam, and I am pretty please with what I have seen… On a general scale, Dutch men are top-rated for me. 🙂

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