Top 10 Tourist Traps

by Tanja
Souvenirshop in Amsterdam

Amsterdam is a lovely city to visit. But just like any other famous city, you gotta be wary of those Amsterdam tourist traps: streets you should avoid, museums you shouldn’t visit, places you shouldn’t go to. Here is a Top 10 list of Amsterdam Tourist Traps.

1. Central Station

Like any other international railway station, Amsterdam Central Station is the place where you should take care of your belongings. That means: watch your luggage and keep your wallet out of sight. Though Amsterdam is safe, be cautious about any seemingly friendly people offering you help and assistance. You look like you don’t know where to go and what to do. That makes you a target.

At Amsterdam Central Station you will be hassled with people offering you help finding accommodation and other ‘spectacular offers’ for tourist attractions. If you don’t need any help, be blunt. Tell that person to go away and if you are feeling unsafe, notify the police.

2. Damrak

Damrak is the street that leads you from Amsterdam Central Station to Dam Square. Damrak is lined with souvenir shops, selling coffee mugs, t-shirts and a bunch of other useless stuff decorated with large penises (after all: this is Amsterdam!). You’ll find some of the worst restaurants in town here. Outlets of all well known international and national (Febo!) fast food chains next to dodgy looking currency changing offices give it that really international tourist look we call shady.

Terrace along Amsterdam canal
Walking along the canals of Amsterdam and stopping at a terrace for a beer. Cheaper and more fun and more authentic than the Heineken Experience.

2. Amsterdam Hop-On-Hop-Off Bus Tour

Amsterdam Hop-on-hop-off bus tours are a real tourist trap, because the bus cannot go into the old city center. The most interesting parts of Amsterdam cannot be seen by large transport. Check out the prices, bus stops and conditions of the Amsterdam Hop-on Hop-off Bus Tour.

3. The Red light district

The Red Light District is best seen during the day. The area is swamped with tourists. Here you will find mostly cheap bakeries, bad souvenir shops, and cheesy bars. The Red Light District is best avoided if you don’t want to walk right into a tourist trap.

Around the Amsterdam Red Light District, there are many pastry shops. The chocolate croissants, doughnuts and cream-filled cookies certainly look attractive, to some. Take a closer look. Many of these sugary delicacies have been laying around the window for quite some time, just waiting for those hungry, sugar longing coffee shops victims, which have turned ordinarily sweet tooth after that last joint they smoked…

4. Heineken Experience

The same way the word ‘Amsterdam’ just shouts sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll, the Heineken Experience still enjoys its reputation of ‘the museum where you get drunk for free’. Time has turned both facts into myths, however.

Visiting the Heineken factory once was one of the most appreciated tourist attractions of Amsterdam because it meant you would pay around €1 to enter, endure a guided tour through the factory to finally make your way towards the bar: where you could drink as much Heineken beer as you wanted! Those days are gone. The Heineken Experience is still housed in the former brewery of Heineken. And that’s about all that’s interesting about the current Heineken Experience.

5. The Ice Bar

Do you want to pay €19,50 to have two drinks in a freezer? Doesn’t sound attractive? Ice Bars have been popping up all around the world and funnily, it’s always for tourists. Locals just don’t go there. That at least should give you hint. The Amsterdam. XtraCold Ice Bar is basically a place with lots of ice, blocks of it and sculptures.

It takes a lot of air cooling to keep the temperature low and with recent climate change problems, as a tourist you really ought to wonder about the necessities of this type of ‘fun’ places.

The attraction costs a whooping €19,50 and for that money you get two small drinks and max. 30 minutes inside. You get gloves, but still, most people only last 15 minutes inside because it’s too cold. If you just pop round  Amsterdam in wintertime and open a bottle of beer at night, you get the same idea, but cheaper.

7. The Amsterdam Flower Market

Flower Market Amsterdam
Amsterdam Flower Market is a tourist trap.

The Flower Market in Amsterdam is not something you should be too enthusiastic about. First of all: the Amsterdam flower market is supposed to be located on boats. It’s true that some are located on barges that float, but you won’t notice that. 

Websites still write this is ‘typical local market’, but that’s not true. Dutch people don’t buy flowers on the Amsterdam Flower Market. It’s well known the flower bulbs of this market are a scam. The Floating Amsterdam Flower Market is only for tourists.

There is only a small selection of flowers, they are not very fresh and not cheap. It’s mostly just a line of some fifteen shops selling mostly tacky souvenirs along with flower pots, seeds, and gardening accessories.

8. The Amsterdam Dungeon

The Amsterdam Dungeon is supposed to be a ‘scary theatre show’, that plays out some of the darker chapters in Amsterdam history, like torture during the Spanish inquisition or when the city was infested by the Plague. The same ‘dungeon’ format is known in other European cities (like London and Edinburgh).

The Amsterdam Dungeon consists of small dark rooms, lit by blacklight, strobe and other special effects where you will be entertained and/or scared by actors dressed up as corpses and ghosts and such. I suppose it could scare a child. In the end there is a one-minute roller-coaster ride. On top of all that, the Amsterdam Dungeon have extremely confusing prices. It depends when you buy, where you buy and when you go and how many people.

9. Erotic Museum and Sex Museum

Amsterdam needs to have its sex museums. Because it just does. It doesn’t mean you have to go there. Both the Erotic Museum and Sex Museum are mostly funny and sometimes interesting but it’s nothing special. It’s just a couple of floors with sex-related objects and pictures wanting to shock you.

The objects presented consist of photographs, drawings, sculptures, and other artifacts, as well as films and instruments, all related to the sex theme. This means body parts and pictures of men,  women and, yes, animals engaging in sexual intercourse in very, very varied ways. Some can be quite hardcore, so be prepared. 

10. Leidseplein and Rembrandtplein

Street Artists selling your portrait at Rembrandtplein, Amsterdam.

I have heard people say, their favourite place in Amsterdam was Leidseplein. And that to me, is unbelievable. Apart from a tourist office, there is really nothing to see there.

The terraces and bars are touristy and expensive and don’t carry any charm. Unless the jugglers and acrobats trying to attract a crowd to cheer them on is your idea of entertainment, the Leidseplein should be avoided as much as possible. The side streets are lined with cheap pizza places. In the weekend the streets and bars around Leidseplein fill up with young (Dutch) people popping in and out of bars where they play loud Dutch music while riot police looks on from the Square.

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Leave a Comment


Prvn G June 22, 2018 - 18:57

Excellent article! I am not a traveler, but plans to be in Amsterdam for a day or two, and want to see best I can without any hassle. Great article!

ARI February 28, 2017 - 17:53

Thanks for the information,he advise about R R stations applies to Air ports as well the world over,many wait to take advantage of the lost looking tourist,Do not let yur guard down,not all friendly people are crooks but…….

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